Life Stuff with Tania Snyman

The monster inside us

“You are not good enough” – Does this phrase sound familiar? We all carry a monster inside that encourages negative self talk.

You are not a good enough friend, sister, daughter, mother….You need to do more. You are not enough to apply for that dream job or even enough to build long lasting, strong relationships. Why even bother? This little critter starts of as an annoyance, soon it becomes an ear-bug that keeps repeating the same mantra, until eventually you have grown a full blown monster. It has now become part of who you are, and you believe the messages it relays to you daily.

The hard part is separating it after it has planted roots. Eventually we become reliant on what the voice is telling us. Surely it’s true? This shifts the way we travel through life. We experience and interpret certain interactions in a different way… the wrong way.

“Well?” You ask. “How do we get out if this?” “How do we vanquish this monster?” Unfortunately, the solution wont come easily. We need to train our minds to become our own monster hunters. Here are a few tips to help you start the process, in finding the powerful weapon of positive self talk:

Re-frame how you look at things – Remove your negative bias and look at things in a realist perspective. No matter what the situation, you can do this! If it doesn’t go to plan, it’s ok, you have learned and gained from the experience.
Challenge it – Is there actual truth in what the voice is saying? You will find that most of the time there is no evidence to support it.
Make lists – List your positive attributes, favourite things about yourself or even things you are grateful for. Even if your list is very small to begin with, it’s a great starting point. Highlight these items and remind yourself of them throughout the day.
Don’t compare – This is a difficult one. Most of us look at others and sometimes, as if instinct, our brain starts flooding with comparisons. To combat this, try to find gratitude in what you have instead of animosity in what you don’t.

By applying the above, one step at a time, the monster will grow weaker and the voice will fade away, until you no longer hear or care to listen to it.

Till next time my monster hunters…Keep up the good fight!

Goodbye May

With June around the corner and our lock down restrictions being lifted to level 3, most of us cannot wait for the new month to begin.

As weeks turn into months and seasons change in the blink of an eye, our sunsets and sunrises seem to melt into one another. Keeping track of the date or day of the week has become quite a challenge on the daily. However, here we are, winter has arrived and i could not be happier to welcome the rain.

Looking back on the last few months, i realise how easily we adapt. Quarantine has become the new norm, and we have established set routines to suit the current circumstances. Hygiene and sanitizing has never been as important as it is now and we are all glued to the news, keeping track of the latest developments. The whole world seems to have settled into 2020 (as best we can anyway).

While we have finally found our feet (halfway through the year), I am already looking beyond this, into the future. My thoughts drift to a world without quarantine restrictions and lock downs. A kinder, cleaner and more understanding world. With the coming of June we inch ever so slightly closer to this vision. I think we are ready for what ever comes next.

Farewell May, Bring on June!

Till next time…

Super-natural

These days we are so quick to jump to medication at the soonest sign of discomfort. While this is sometimes necessary, other times the natural approach might be the best one for your mind and body.

Here are a few of my favourite natural remedies with ingredients most of us have handy at home or can easily find:

Peppermint

Mint has been used for hundreds of years as a health remedy. Peppermint oil or tea might help with irritable bowel syndrome and it may be good for headaches as well.

Honey

This natural sweetener may work just as well for a cough as over-the-counter medicines.

Ginger

It’s been used for thousands of years in Asian medicine to treat stomachaches. Studies show that it works for nausea and vomiting.

Green Tea

This comforting drink does more than keep you awake and alert. It’s a great source of some powerful antioxidants that can protect your cells from damage and help you fight disease.

Lavender

Migraine attacks, headaches, anxiety, and general feelings of (dis)stress? Inhaling lavender can help with that. Drinking lavender tea or keeping a satchel around for times of high stress is one way to reduce anxiety and relax the mind and body.

Chamomile tea

Poor sleep? Chamomile tea may be able to help. According to the results of a Chinese trial, subjects experienced better sleep quality and greater alleviation of symptoms of depression.

Stay safe and healthy friends!

Till next time…

Yin vs Yang

No matter how wonderful or terrible your life is, it is a constant battle between two paths. To cecum to the bad or to keep fighting for the good.

Some of us fall into the hole of darkness and always see life through cracked glass. While others seem to only experience the beautiful aspects and see life through rose coloured glasses. Though our ups and downs, as we go through life’s roller-coaster, we soon realise the relationship these times have.

Simply put life is a balance, to thrive through it, you must experience both aspects. The bad makes us appreciate the good and the good helps us to face the bad.

What ever rut you are in, know this will change soon. The nuclear winter you have been facing, perhaps for a while, will pass and blossom into spring. Hold tight my friends, things are looking up!

Till next time…

Fight the chill

As the season turns and the chill creeps up, why keep fighting the change? Winter is almost here and i am all for it!

There are many things you can do to create a cozy and warm space. This is especially important, since most of us are spending all our time at home, locked away under quarantine, for the foreseeable future.

Here are some of my favourite things to invest in for winter:

Blankets – I know this one is a little obvious, but hear me out. Purchase a few large, great quality, super soft blankets in your colour scheme. This might set you back a little, however this will last many winters to come and is so worth it! These blankets will migrate from room to room and get snatched up by guests on chilly evenings (when we can be social again). It is great for cuddling on the couch with your partner and also a wonderful addition to your bedding for decor and those really cold nights.

Cardigan/Jersey – Old school knit wear has always been my favourite. They will keep you nice and warm, while looking stylish at the same time. Pair them with track suit pants/ loose bottoms for a comfier look indoors, or jeans/tights for a more put together vibe when leaving the house.

Socks – Ooooh the socks! Nothing screams comfort, like fuzzy winter socks. There are so many types to choose from to keep your feet nice and toasty. I also recommend investing in at least one pair of thermal socks especially if you get cold easily. These are great to wear indoors at all times or wear out with boots to boost the coziness.

Bedding – Having winter sheets is a must. This is especially important if you only have one type of duvet. These warm sheets will help insulate your bedding to prevent wafts of cold air from getting inside. As an added bonus, winter sets are usually composed of soft material that makes getting in bed irresistible.

Heating – Beat the chill with gas heaters. These babies keep your rooms super cozy and maintains your space at just the right temperature. They are easy to move around the house as you go, instead of wasting the heat in unused areas. For added warmth install a heated blanket, you won’t regret it!

Stay warm folks! Till next time…

Strong(wo)man

What does having strength mean to you? Is it your ability to endure life’s challenges? Is it linked to carrying literal or figurative weight on your shoulders? OR is it the fact that you can hide your emotions in a difficult situation?

Whatever your definition of strength is, i believe all women have it. In one way or another, each woman will discover her strength throughout her life time. It may become clear during certain unforeseen circumstances or be revealed to you completely unexpectedly.

If we take our current world situation as an example, us women have had to test our strength, even if we thought we had very little. Perhaps you are being challenged with homeschooling, struggling being isolated from your social network or finding it difficult to connect to your partner. Our strength is what keeps us going, what pushes us to strive for success during these trying times.

We may sometimes have doubts if we can carry on. With our old friends anxiety and fear always waiting for us around every corner, do we even have enough strength to face it? Deceiving ourselves into thinking, it will be just one more week or just one more day, before we will encounter relief.

The truth is, we all need our strength now more than ever. Muster the ball of fire inside you and barrel through the obstacles you face. You can do this! We can do this together!

Till next time…

Sleep type

Are you having trouble sleeping? Perhaps you are sleeping way to much? I have found sleep rather elusive my whole life. When i finally do, it is a very light sleep. With the help of routine and medication, i have managed to acquire the sleep i sought after.

In our current times however, i either cannot fall asleep (thoughts racing through my mind) or i cannot seem to get enough sleep (desire to nap all day). It’s the strange relationship i have with sleep now, that makes me wonder “what type of quarantine sleeper am i?”

Below are four types of sleepers :

Dolphin – You are a light sleeper and have trouble falling asleep. Dolphins are often diagnosed with insomnia.

Lion – You tend to wake up early with lots of energy and become exhausted by early evening.

Bear – Your enteral clock tracks the rise and fall of the sun and you require a full 8 hours of sleep at night.

Wolf – You have a hard time waking up in the morning and feel super energetic in the evening.

Which quarantine sleeper are you? Perhaps you are even a hybrid? As our sleep changes during this time and the patterns we are use to seem to be a distant memory, we must remember that this too shall pass. We will once again return to our normal sleep behavior or create a new normal in time.

Till next time…

Relationship goals

Relationships can be difficult sometimes, however if both parties commit the same amount of effort and energy, you can reach #relationshipgoals. Here are some important things to note:

Find the right partner – Sure, you will have to go through some frogs to find the prince, but its all about the process and how you grow in relationships, that make you the person you are in the end. Ensure your pick has the same values, morals, religious beliefs and general life goals as you do.

Align future goals – Have the talk to establish your deal breakers. Ask the hard hitting questions to ensure no surprises further on. Do you want to get married some day? Do you want to have kids? Do you want pets? etc. When you are both on the same page, there will have smooth sailing towards your goals.

It’s ok to bicker – Having a disagreement and talking it out is a sign of a healthy relationship. It’s ok to get frustrated with your partner sometimes and it’s ok to get upset. As long as you work through it together, and you can move forward, life is golden. I don’t mean full on fights or screaming matches. If things get ugly, perhaps seek help or get out, this is not the relationship for you.

Know when to keep quiet – I find this the most difficult. I tend to say things with no filter and sometimes this could harm your partner. If you know that a certain subject is a sensitive topic then approach it with care. Sometimes it’s best not to mention it at all and to keep that negative thought to yourself.

Never go to bed angry at one another – You hear this one everywhere, but that doesn’t make it less true. Going to bed angry or leaving for the day angry at each other, not only effects your relationship in a negative way, but also effects your mental health and general outlook. Talk it out and move past it. Twist the negative into a positive, that will boost your relationship to a stable status for years to come.

Stay kind always – Always take your spouse into consideration. For example, if you are making lunch for yourself, offer to make for your partner. Small acts of kindness go a long way. Do nice things like pack the dishwasher or watch a movie they really like (that you might not care for).

Work through challenges and make decisions together – Staying connected through the challenges life throws at us might be difficult sometimes, but if you tackle it together you will build a stronger bond. You will form a greater understanding of each other and be better equipped for the next time. Remember you are in this for the long haul, the two of you are one union, important decisions need to be considered and made together always.

Learn each other loves language and nurture it – Words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch are the five types. Everyone reciprocates and expresses their love for each other differently. If you don’t understand how your partner communicates, things will become difficult very quickly.

Now, everyone’s ideal relationship looks different, so find what works best for you and stick to it.

Till next time…

April recap

Well here we are… the end of April. Since the whole world implemented lock down and we are all stuck in our homes, there is not really any new developments going on in our lives. It is so easy to fall into a negative mindset and think about the events we are missing out on.

Let’s get out of this rut and note the positive. Here are the good things i have going on:

I have been online teaching over a month now and i love my students.
I have a wonderful husband (i would not want to be stuck with anyone else).
Thanks to technology, i still feel close to my family and friends (lots of video calls).
A Quarantini (Martini drink, enjoyed during quarantine) a day keeps me sane.
My herbs/veg in my window are growing beautifully and we started transferring these to our herb box outside.
I got my creative juices flowing with baking, cross stitch, knitting and painting.
Lots of quality time with my animals.
Cheese! I consumed allot of cheese this month, no complaints here.

Make a list of your positive things. Reflecting back on the good will thrust us forward into a more positive outlook. Let’s rock May to the best of our abilities!

Till next time…

A mood

Has the weather ever affected your mood before? A bright sunny day might make you feel energized and ready to tackle the world, while a gloomy day might make you want to hunker down and crawl into a ball.

Just like this, the people we surround ourselves with, has the same effect. Sure, if you are currently isolated with these people, you have no option right now, but think about the bigger picture.

Let’s take stock shall we? Account for your social circle, the family members you see regularly, even your coworkers. Does a certain person or group make you feel worthless or uneasy? Do they effect your environment in a negative way regularly? These persons should not get to make a starring appearance in your life. You have the power and must determine the supporting characters that supply the narrative in your circle.

I hear you, this is not so easy and mostly fear provoking even to consider. Having an anxiety response is completely natural, but think about the alternative if you do not act. Think of all the sunny days you have been missing, due to these circumstances.

I encourage all of us to act now! During these trying times, it is even easier to spot these perpetrators. Rip the negativity from your sphere of existence. If you are unable to avoid them, perhaps confront them. We never know what someone is going through, there could be a reason why they act out this way, and maby you could even help improve their reality.

We all deserve to be surrounded with love, support and positive vibes. Don’t get me wrong, life will always have it’s challenges, but why get dragged down into the storm forever? The sun is on the horizon, get ready for the good times to come with the right people by your side.

Stay safe all! Till next time…