I have always struggled to change my weight. I have been around the same number since high school, with the exception, that then i had more muscle less fat and now more fat less muscle. Looking at myself in the mirror end May, i realized quarantine has not done my body any favours and i noticed a little extra fluff than usual.
My constant snacking, and due to winter, less movement, has resulted in undesirable effects. Since i know i am consuming way over my required daily amount (what ever that is), i decided to download the calorie tracking app “MyNetDiary” and have a go at a little self experiment.
I entered my details, weight, height etc and the app advised how much i should consume if i want to maintain or loose weight. I set my goal, entered daily my meals, listed my exercise (if any) and noted my water intake. I realized being honest, most importantly with yourself, is rather difficult. I found myself snacking or reaching for food out of boredom and thinking “it’s only a small treat, i don’t need to put this in” or “if i don’t log it, it doesn’t count right”. After a month this was obviously not doing me any favours. The app was showing great results, however in real life nothing changed at all.
I realized, if i really want to do this, i NEED to capture 100% of what i consume. After a few weeks of sticking to this rule, the results reflected what i already knew, and this was just not what i wanted. I am putting way more calories in my body than i should. Being a food lover this was a hard one to face. This did however, give me a great starting point for accurate tracking. Data is key folks.
Trying really hard to resist temptation, i found myself feeding others and snacking vicariously through them. I made more lavish, hearty meals since i knew i could only have so much of it. I denied myself little pleasures no matter how healthy for the sake of that number i dared not reach. During this time my cravings skyrocketed, i wanted everything all the time, physically struggling to put my hand in a bag of treats.
After some time, i started falling into bad mental habits, i was being hard on myself when i went over the set amount and i got way to excited when i ate less. This continued for another month, constantly keeping a negative internal dialogue, “don’t do this” “don’t eat that”. I became frustrated easily and quick to snap. Second guessing every move. After this, i reweighed and looked at my results…sure, there was a small change but was it worth it?
I took a step back and reflected. I eat healthy (most of the time), i drink healthy, i get a little exercise, i sometimes indulge, i drink lots of water and i love my body. Why am i continuing this experiment? It is clearly making me unhappy and diminishing my mental health. So what if i have some cake! So what if i go for seconds sometimes! We must give ourselves permission to do these things (obviously in moderation).
Counting calories is a tricky thing, i feel like we can get so carried away, that it eventually builds an unhealthy relationship with food. I failed this experiment, but that doesn’t mean i have given up. I will approach causally, rather than with force. I will still take note of my intake but in a more considerate way. I will be kind to myself and remember that it is ok to fail. We have infinite chances to achieve our goals and ultimately it is about what makes us happy.
Let’s enjoy life like we are meant to, have that slice of cake!
Till next time…
Life Stuff with Tania Snyman 